Pregnancy Journal: What have I done?

I tried to stop and think about my parents who had four of us. Never did I feel like the favorite, nor did I feel left out. Being the oldest by nearly four years, I’m sure I enjoyed the individual attention that Jacob has experienced, though in my memory much of that attention happened after the birth of one or more of my siblings. Somehow they did it. Somehow billions of women around the globe have done it for thousands of years. And somehow I’ll figure it out.

I realize that Jacob has not enjoyed my undivided attention for seven months now. I’ve been constantly looking out for the baby since the day I took that pregnancy test, if not before. Perhaps the adaptation will be a wee bit easier than I’ve imagined?


With that I began to focus on more happy thoughts, and it occurred to me that it’s a learning curve for all of us including Rob, Jacob and the baby. In the meantime, I began to daydream about meeting our little one, about bringing him or her home, about watching the evolving personality and getting to know new quirks. I’ve begun to watch Jacob even more closely and realize again that Rob and I made him. He wouldn’t exist without us. Yet, he has such a unique and wonderful personality. He is just so darn cute and he delights us each day with his reactions to life. In just a few weeks I’ll have the opportunity to watch two children grow and learn about life. Even better, I’ll be able to watch two children interact and teach each other lessons that Mom and Dad could never begin to touch. Somehow, the rest of my worries will inevitably work out and in the end I’ll be left with the greatest gifts one could ever receive.

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