Photo Credit: Miranda Penn Turin/Bravo
As a mom-to-be, you get nine months to prepare for parenthood. Pregnancy is a no-getting-around-it reminder of the changes in store for you -- even if you still don’t feel ready! But is your hubby prepared?
Some dads take a hands-off approach to parenting, thinking they don't need to learn to diaper, burp, swaddle (or fill in the blank here) their baby. If you can drag them to a parenting class or to visit a friend who already has a baby, do so, but if you can't, don't freak out... yet!
Take some of my Pregnant in Heels clients. Working with dads is always interesting because it’s usually their wives who want my help! They're often incredibly reluctant to work with me, and their egos get bruised because their wives don't think they’ll be competent dads without my help. That’s why I like to start by doing something drastic to get their attention and make them laugh. It opens them up -- and then we can get to the nitty-gritty business of daddy training. With Adam, for example, I made him wear a pregnancy suit, and with Matt I brought one of my other client's babies with me to his Hamptons compound.
Obviously, there’s a certain amount of training you need to impart to reluctant dads. But you also need to let dad figure some things out by himself. Micro-managing your partner’s parenting skills will only make him frustrated and less likely to be involved.
So give the dad in your life the space he needs to be a dad (just make sure you’re close by should the figuring-it-out not go as smoothly as planned!). You might even learn a thing or two from him! My husband has taught me a lot about parenting in the moment, as opposed to worrying about all the things I have to get done -- the baths, the dinner, the laundry -- that lead me to miss out on special moments. He’s also taught me that we’re good at different things -- and that makes us great at parenting together.
Dealing with everything from diapering to homework results in bonding for both of you -- and it would be sad if either of you missed out on that.
On a separate note, my lovelies, the season finale of Pregnant in Heels has just aired, so this will be my last guest blog post on iVillage. I feel so honored to have had the opportunity to be a part of this amazing iVillage community. You all have made me think, made me smile and made me even more determined to keep doing what I do.