At some point during or after your divorce, you'll probably become interested in the possibility of finding a new partner. Statistics show that 75 percent of divorced people get married again within five years. Even if you think you're ready for a new committed relationship, there are some important areas that you should consciously examine before you begin your search for Mr. or Ms. Right.
Start by carefully considering this question: "Am I really ready for a relationship?" Being "ready" involves some important factors. First of all, you need to be sure that you truly love yourself. Second, you must have dealt properly with past issues and emotional baggage. Third, you should have a clear sense of why you want to be in a relationship. Fourth, you must ask yourself whether you are prepared (both able and willing) to put in the work and effort required for a loving, committed relationship.
You must be totally honest with yourself when considering these four factors. If there is any sign of hesitation or uncertainty in any of these areas, you'll need to go back to lay the groundwork before you can build a healthy relationship.
Start laying the foundation for post-divorce romance here:
- Steps One and Two: Loving Yourself and Letting Go
- Steps Three and Four: Deciding Why You Want a New Love and Doing Love's Chores
Steps 1 and 2: Loving Yourself and Letting Go
Before even considering a loving relationship with another, you have to love yourself. You have to remember your priorities. It all starts with you. In order to be capable of giving love to another person, you need to give love to yourself, first. In order to recognize when you are receiving genuine love from another person, you must first honor your worthiness to receive love. You have to know who you truly are: you must be aware of your own abilities, gifts, strengths, and weaknesses. You have to like yourself as a person, inside and out. You need to have self-respect and self-confidence. And above all, you have to be honest with yourself. The ability to make good choices -- in a partner or in life -- flows from having a genuine love and respect for yourself.