TV Recap: Private Practice

The guys are on the beach trying to make Maya's science project (a volcano) erupt. Cooper and Pete question Sam about Naomi and he denies it. They're relieved; Oceanside does not need any more office relationship drama. Speaking of which, Cooper runs off for another tryst with Charlotte, and a friendly argument over who gets to be good cop or bad cop. She wins for now. She's got a parenting class to find a teacher for, and Cooper steals an important packet of information out of her bag.

The girls stroll in to work and Addison tries to convince Naomi to just talk to Sam. Violet is still out of the loop. Addison goes off to smooth things over with Pete and they decide to try the "friend" thing. Boo. The office is out of whack. Trash hasn't been taken out, the temperature isn't right, and it's all because Dell is not in yet. He comes in and asks Sam to help him with something: He wants him to take a look at his "pa-pa." Thankfully it's his grandfather and not what Sam thinks. Dell thinks his grandfather Wendell and his friend Nate are being abused at their nursing home.

Some familiar faces
Kathleen and Jeffrey, a.k.a. The Spazzy Newlywed Couple, return from a previous episode (remember, her lady parts were “broken”), and this time they’re concerned about not being pregnant yet. Naomi and Addison sit down with the couple and break the news that he is sterile. He immediately wants to find a sperm donor.

The LAPD officer (Nelson) from the water-birthing episode is also back and still hitting on Addison, but under the premise that he’s there for a physical with Sam.

Cooper recruits Pete to help teach a parenting class. What they don’t realize is that they have their work cut out for them. These soon-to-be dads are clueless.

Violet asks what Dell is up to. Apparently, grandpa Wendell is all he has. His grandma died and his mom is off traveling in parts unknown according to Naomi. She chats with Sam. Dell comes in with files and they split. Cooper comes in and asks if they’re getting it on. Dell says no; they fight too much. Cooper thinks otherwise and says angry sex is hot. He should know.

Dell, a little revved up at this point, stops in Sam’s office. Sam took a look at the records of the nursing home and saw a few injuries worth a trip there to check things out. Dell tries to argue with him to stay out of it, but he insists. He and Sam arrive at Brookside looking for Wendell. The desk clerk says he gets paid to not pay attention to the residents for a while. They hear noises and head to the basement to discover (what is probably the only) nursing home fight club. Yes, folks, only on television. At least I hope.

Even the women are there! Folks smoking while on oxygen! Wendell and his friend Nate are in a makeshift boxing ring beating the crap out of each other. Wendell socks Nate a good one and he’s down for the count. Sam goes to work. Turns out Nate had a heart attack.

Game on
Sam is changing his shirt in his office. Will you look at those arms? Mmm. He tries to put the moves on Naomi and she benches him. Dell walks in and his cheeks get flushed. She leaves and Dell tells Sam “What did you do to her? Every time she walks away from you she’s miserable.” Sam tells him it’s none of his business, but Dell gets more pissed and proceeds to profess his love for her and how she “dazzles” him and he’d never make her cry. Sam says he’s going to pretend he didn’t hear all that he just said about his wife. Dell says “ex-wife.” Ugh, really? This kid is, well, a kid. He may be cutesy and helpful, but I’m sorry: He just doesn’t hold a candle to Sam. Call me out here if I’m wrong, but I don’t think so. Sam walks in and tells Naomi he’ll do his job but he’s done with Dell. She wants him to cut Dell a break. He says he IS cutting him a “big damn break.”

It’s back to bingo at Brookside. Dell tells Wendell that they put a pacemaker in Nate, but he’s ok for now. A staff person tells Dell that they were taking bets on their fight club and paying off the clerk. Things have to be awfully dreadful around this place to resort to that.

Jeffrey chats with Addison. He’s not totally on board with the donor thing. The next day he decides to volunteer his brother Mark to make a baby with Kathleen. Weird. This guy is totally willing, and a total jerk. He can’t be serious. Right when they’re about to inseminate, they both yell out to stop. They can’t do it, but now what?

Officer Nelson shows up and there’s a bit of awkwardness between Addison, Pete and him. He tries to ask her out, but gets paged on a call. Pete later asks Addison about the officer. She says nothing happened, and Pete tells her she needs to get out there more. He realizes he’s helping another guy win her over. Oh, Pete.

Back at baby class, Coop and Pete are holding strong. An eager assistant is trying to take the class in place of his too-busy boss, but the guys won’t have it. Cooper leaves the boss a hilarious message. In the midst of the next night’s lesson on the diaper-be-gone, the boss (Jack Grossman) shows up. And he truly is a jack (ass) as Cooper’s message said. After some words are exchanged he decides to stay and that really peps up the rest of the class.

Addison and Naomi find a new procedure for the two crazies and they get excited. This involves some crazy maneuvering of Jeffrey testicles. He agrees to go under the knife and oddly enough, watches Addison hunting around on the monitor. Addison nabs one little swimmer, we watch them fertilize the egg, Kathleen gets implanted, and these two kids are off.

Dell gets a phone call from the hospital. Nate’s not going to make it, and he needs to pick up Wendell. Sam sits down and tells Wendell that it wasn’t his fault. Says they fought because of the daily death march they faced at the home. He hates bingo. He tells the boys that when they’re his age they’ll wish they fought more and cared more. How appropriate. Hint, hint: Step it up Sam!

Office relations
Violet invites Cooper over but he turns her down. She asks if he has a girlfriend. He dances around the question but she says she’s happy for him and he shouldn’t stand this chick up. He leaves and she’s clearly a little hurt. Who wouldn’t be after what they just went through. He goes off for another romp with the chief and asks her if they’re dating. Turns out they are. Weird.

Dell comes in to Naomi’s office and pushes her up against the blinds and kisses her. (Hand to forehead) WHY? He got his fight up. She is speechless. She steps into the hallway. Sam accosts her and does the same. This one she’s a little more involved in. He says to let everyone know, which shouldn't be hard, as Pete and Dell are watching from down the hallway. Sam says he doesn’t care. And the fight is on.

Pete says to Dell, “What was that?” Dell says, “He’s fighting for her.” He says it with a half smile, which makes me wonder if he’d be willing to settle for losing if Sam would just put the effort in like he should.

Addison heads over to find Officer Nelson. Sparks fly. Pete heads over to Addison’s, to find no one home. He’s meekly fighting for her, and she’s not there. He stands outside her door, lost.

Final thoughts
Well, now where do we all stand on these new developments? Any fans of officer Nelson? I just don’t find him that cute. He seems nice and all, but I think Pete is coming around and his quiet brooding is winning me over. Who’s your pick for the Dell/Sam fight? Am I crazy, or is this one just not even worth debating? It has to be Sam right? And Cooper and Charlotte? Really? What happens when Violet finds out who this girlfriend really is? Will Cooper ever confess? We’ll just have to wait and see.

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