Psst... (It's Not Her Real Butt)

We are beyond amazed by the iPant -- but our men, not so much

What the heck is the iPant, you ask? It's shapewear for the woman who has everything... except a smooth butt and upper thigh area.

Created by intimate apparel company Wacoal, the iPant claims to shape your booty and actively break down cellulite at the same time. Through the magic of science, these spandex shorts are made up of active ingredients like caffeine, retinol, ceramides, vitamin E, fatty acids, and aloe vera. (I mean, who doesn't want to wear a Vitamin Shoppe around their waist?!)

Now, I must admit, I'm a little skeptical -- I'm a virgin to shapewear, after all. I've been opposed to Spanx for a long time (on the grounds that I don't want to wear anything that reminds me of childhood disciplining). But I popped my lycra cherry for this blog post. I love coffee, so why not smother it all over my nether regions?

When I pulled the iPant out of the box I thought, "Oh, how strange, they must have thought I was a smurf." They looked like they could only fit on a plump child. But, I managed to -- just like a sausage -- case my body in the unsexy beauty that is the iPant... Oddly, they felt pretty comfortable. I put them to test by cranking up some "Jock Jams" (this was for science, people!) and flailing my body around like a crazy person, also known as dancing, and well, darn, they moved pretty well. I don't know if I felt the fatty acids distributing themselves, but my thighs felt really smooth. So smooth that I couldn't stop petting myself! (Weird, I know.)

Then, I wore them over to my boyfriend's apartment without telling him. He tried to grab my bum and paused. "What's going on here?" he asked. I explained and asked his thoughts: "Well, I can't grab your butt, it's pressed flat." And I thought, that's great -- just what I wanted! Ladies, you can wear these to "da clubs" not only to squeeze your booty into and look slimmer, but also to revolt the random creeper lurking who is turned on my curves. (TMI? Sorry!) Thank you, Wacoal!

Though I haven't worn the shorts long enough to see any noticeable "cellulite fighting," I can still say they feel pretty comfortable under clothing. They're $60 at Neiman Marcus, which seems to be a little more expensive than Spanx, but I guess you're paying those extra dollars for "hope." They give you hope on a hanger.

So my final verdict? It seems that the iPant is for when you want to dress for women, but not for when you want to dress for men. You can rock 'em with those slinky dresses you want to look tiny in (and luckily, they're comfy). However, I'm definitely staying away from them during "sexy time" (if you know what I mean).

Grace Helbig is our beauty and style blogger, a vlogger for Daily Grace on YouTube and MyDamnChannel.com, and (obviously) a comedian. Follow her on Twitter: @gracehelbig.

 

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