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The 10 Golden Rules
- Absolutely Totally Cannot Be Broken Rule No. 1: You're allowed to touch him, but he's not allowed to touch you. Not with hands, mouth, tongue or penis. Only his eyes and imagination are allowed to roam.
- Absolutely Totally Cannot Be Broken Rule No. 2: You must maintain eye contact with him throughout the performance.
- Keep the lights ON: It's all about showing off your body, not hiding it. It really doesn't matter whether you'd put a supermodel to shame or make the local preacher's wife look good, sexy is all about how you feel. You don't need a great body to strip. All you need is confidence and attitude.
- Slather on Stuff... Fake tan (you'll feel more confident with some color), lip gloss (slightly smeared), blusher (around your nipples to make them look more defined), a slight slick of baby oil on your body for sheen.
- Plan Your Outfit: I've deliberately made this strip user-friendly in the sense that it assumes you've just come home from work and walked in the front door. Sure, you wouldn't normally wear stockings and garter belts to the office (top score if you do!) but there's not too much else that's different -- which means you'll be far more likely to strip on impulse (and therefore actually do it, rather than just talk about it). There's only one thing Amy and I absolutely must insist on outfit-wise: no big underpants à la Bridget Jones! Obviously, a G-string (thong) suits the mood of a striptease best, but it's far more important that you feel sexy in whatever underwear you choose.
- Don't Be a Neat Freak: You're supposed to be throwing your clothes off with abandon. Stopping to put your skirt on a hanger, carefully folding your top or hanging your jacket behind the door ruins the effect somewhat (don't laugh -- it happens). Everything is left where you throw/drop it.
- Think the Three T's: Tempt, Tantalize, Tease: During the entire performance, parade around, walk up and down, flirt, flick your hair around, gyrate your body. Be his private dancer.
- Your Hands Are His Hands: Touch yourself the way he wants to touch you, in places he wants to touch. Go for it. You can keep it light and innocent by touching yourself the way a virgin might. Or you can get wickedly down-and-dirty from the word go.
- Borrow a Dancer's Trick: Keep one leg in front of the other, heel lifted, whenever possible. It makes otherwise awkward poses look elegant (and your legs and body look long and lean). It's also great for photographs (check out any shot of Liz Hurley and she's invariable assumed this pose)!
- Choose the Music to Suit Your Mood: Yes, "Hey, Big Spender" is a tad dated, so just choose something you always end up flinging yourself around the living room to, on your wilder late nights.