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"My daughter is going through a phase of wearing jeans so tight she can't bend her knees in them. I have a go at her and say, 'Can't you wear something else? You have a closet full of clothes and you wear the same pants every day . . . And please wear a belt because I don't want to see your butt crack when you bend over.' " -- Madonna, the cone bustier-wearing, cross-burning, nude-posing, stage-humping, water bottle deep-throating pop star, to British Elle, about daughter, Lourdes.

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