If we change the way we talk to kids, it will change the way they talk to us, to other kids, and to themselves.
This is an excerpt from:
Raising a Thinking Preteen: The 'I Can Problem Solve' Program for 8- To 12- Year-Olds by nationally acclaimed author, Myrna Shure, PhD, a developmental psychologist at MCP Hahnemann University in Philadelphia. Myrna is the author of the bestselling book, Raising a Thinking Child, a 1996 Parents' Choice Award Winner. Her "I Can Problem Solve" program has been recognized by numerous national organizations, most recently the National Association of School Psychologists and the Strengthening America's Families Project.
What do parents say when they want to change their child's behavior? After listening to and studying parents' approaches for years, I've concluded that much of the time they resort to one of three strategies: they use power, suggestions, or explanations.
Obviously, not everything we say or do when we are trying to change our children's behavior falls into one of these categories. There are also times when we use two or three of these approaches at once. Still, examining our behavior through this broad lens is useful. It will help us to see how the Problem-Solving Approach, which I introduced in Raising a Thinking Child, has its own unique importance for eight- through twelve-year-olds.
Let's look at the three approaches parents most commonly use.
Throughout this book, we will see how the parents of Nicholas, Sarah, and Donna learned to use the Problem-Solving Approach, one step at a time. By teaching your child how to make good decisions about problems important to them now, you are helping them prepare for problems that will be important to them later.
Understanding the importance of raising problem-solving children is the first step...