Alas, esteemed TV viewers, Masterpiece Theatre is not airing tonight. Thankfully, that other exemplar of distinguished programming -- Jersey Shore (MTV, 10 p.m. ET) -- will be premiering its third season. To satiate your thirst for quality television, click here to see the extended trailer.
What sorts of over-the-top hijinks can we expect from this installation? Rest assured that based on the promo, we'll get lots more fist pumping, stripping, pole dancing, hot tub hookups, and all the other endeavors these knuckleheads love.
Also: There's a new cast member. Her name is Deena, and she's Snooki's peppy, petite BFF. Or, as Sammi describes her, "She's a four feet tall, short little meatball, exactly like Snooki."
Snooki will once again don her fluffy slippers, and this time she appears to be going on a personal journey…to the beach! "Where the f--- is the beach?" she asks a stranger (who's sitting right next to it). Oh, Snooks. You're too cute (and intoxicated).
Rest assured, there will be drama of Shakespearean magnitude. "The dynamic definitely has changed," says Vinny. "It's not one big happy family anymore." Certainly not, when upstanding young women must defend their own honor. (If you like gratuitous violence, you'll love this season.)
Ah, the joys of youth and tanning! Judging by the recent news that MTV has awarded cast member Pauly D with his own spinoff, fans will be enjoying these sorts of shenanigans for a long time to come!
Who are you looking forward to seeing on Jersey Shore this season? Chime in below!