'The Real Housewives of Miami': Just What You'd Expect

Without even seeing it, you can probably predict what The Real Housewives of Miami (which premieres Feb. 22 at 10 p.m. ET) will be like. All you need is a working knowledge of this franchise -- whether in New Jersey, Atlanta, Beverly Hills or elsewhere -- to know that you're about to witness spoiled, middle-aged women who love drama So let's bypass that and just get to the heart of the matter at hand: What's unique about this crop of rich Housewives?

Honestly, not much. But there are plenty of entertaining moments in the first episode -- enough of them, actually, to lure you into this rarified world of fundraising galas and champagne lunches.

Amusingly, the season's most obvious train wreck, Brazilian bombshell Adriana DeMoura-Sidi, inadvertently uses that very term about herself. When she attends a runway show with Christy Rice (a fashion retailer) and Larsa Pippen (wife of NBA player Scottie Pippen), she accepts their dare to strut the empty catwalk herself. "They tried to make me look stupid, like make me like the crazy one, like the train wreck," she says. "So I showed them how it's done."

In the moment, Rice acts impressed by DeMoura-Sidi's daring personality. Then she chides her for it behind her back. "Who wants to go on the catwalk when the show's over and everybody's gone?" she snipes. "OK, like my daughter and her little friends that are eight? It's cute when you're eight."

Celebrity publicist Marysol Patton, another unintentionally funny-tragic character, often comes across like an embodiment of thinly veiled panic. When Eva Longoria fails to show up at one of Patton's events, she obsessively checks her cell phone and paces the building like a caged animal. Also featured on the show is Patton's mother -- a self-described witch whose botched plastic surgery makes her a bit difficult to look at.

In yet another party scene, Lea Black, a philanthropist and fundraiser, shouts over the din at her black-tie gala. It's a sad commentary on our country that scores of politicians, including Barack Obama, deem to take this rude woman's money. She's also seen at a dinner party, loudly suggesting that Marysol's fiancée is only marrying her for a green card. What a class act.

But then, we don't watch Real Housewives for their class, do we? Here we go again!

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