Photo Credit: Courtesy of Bravo
Flanking host Andy Cohen on white couches, the ladies of The Real Housewives of Miami sparkled in elegant eveningwear during the season 2 reunion show. But their outer beauty couldn't disguise some inner...well, some might call it evil. "You are evil to the core," Lea Black told Ana Quincoces, at one point.
After the explosive first reunion special, we aren't really surprised that things got this ugly during last night's episode, but we applaud the Housewives for keeping us on our toes -- there was no telling what was going to come out of their mouths at any moment. Here are some other insightful quotes from the second half of their reunion.
Lea Black: "I will go under oath right now. I did not know. Bring the truth serum!"
Hashing out the fallout from Lisa Hochstein’s raucous lingerie fundraiser party (which culminated in a physical fight), Lea, Joanna Krupa, Adriana DeMoura and Karent Sierra all had some explaining to do. Lea insisted she didn't have any malicious motives when she brought along the sleazy, Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis. (He initiated all the trouble when he told guests that he'd slept with both Joanna and her sister Marta.) Ana wasn't buying Lea's purported innocence, and Lea responded with the bring-the-truth-serum comment. Then she went on the offensive, calling Ana "the most boring person on the show."
"The show is not called The Old and The Restless," Ana snapped back, rolling her eyes. "Go home. Take your Geritol. Get your walker." Marysol smiled mischievously at this low blow, while Karent unhelpfully pointed out that "with age comes wisdom."
Watch the clip here:
Joanna Krupa: "I don't sleep, and I don't associate myself with criminals."
Andy Cohen dutifully tried to get to the bottom of the conflict, asking Joanna "Did you sleep with [Joe Francis]?" She offered the reply above. (Francis has faced criminal and tax evasion charges, and spent about a year in jail.) But to Adriana's mind, Joanna still has a "dirty" past. "Joe Francis had gave me the whole scoop," she asserted. "He has known you since you arrived in L.A. on Girls Gone Wild." Then she pumped her palms in the air and sang, "Girls gone wild, girls gone wild!"
"Shut your f---ing mouth," replied Joanna, and then explained that she "cohosted an infomercial with Snoop Dogg, and [Francis] hired me to cohost a Girls Gone Wild video." As for Adriana's hooker accusations, Joanna explained that she's suing the call girl websites that featured her photo without her permission. And the foot-tickle fetish video she shot with a girl friend? It was a youthful indiscretion that happened when she was 19 or 20.
Marysol Patton: "My relationship did not work out because I sucked as a wife."
Throughout the hour, the authenticity of several relationships was called into question. "The minute you said 'green card,' everyone thought my marriage was fake," Marysol shouted at Lea.
"That's not why they're saying it's fake, Marysol," Lea rightfully replied. "They're saying it's fake because the minute they quit filming, he left." Before this comment could sink in, Marysol stole the moment back, tearfully exclaiming that she'd ruined her own relationship because she "sucked as a wife."
"You know what Marysol?" Lea said, appearing to soften, if only for a second. "I doubt that that's true, because it takes two to make a relationship work. But if you want to be the victim again, go ahead."
Watch the clip here:
Alexia Echevarria: "What women like you envy is other women's relationships and other women's happiness. Because that's not what you have."
Here Alexia is addressing Joanna, in response to Joanna's "accusation" that Alexia's husband is gay. (Joanna insisted she was merely rumor mongering, passing on gossip that was already out there.) In the midst of the gay husband allegations, Ana and Alexia pointed out that Karent's ex, Rodolfo, is widely considered to be gay. "Is he seeing anybody?" asked Andy Cohen. Karent laughingly told Cohen he could have him.
Karent Sierra: "It's one of the first times that she ever smiled in her life. She enjoyed that way too much."
Speaking of Rodolfo, the women nearly came to blows -- again -- over the way that Karent was told about his extracurricular love affairs. Lisa and Karent were steamed over the way Alexia and Ana appeared to take delight in Karent's sorrow. "You guys came inside to be an audience to see the look on her face to have the satisfaction!" Lisa cried. Ana countered that they simply wanted to be present to keep Lisa honest. "Bullsh--," Lisa replied, though at that point she had to scream to be heard over the fray.
Elsa Patton: "I'm not very lucky with surgery."
This understatement that ate Miami came near the end of the episode, when Cohen tried to get Elsa to talk about her disfigured face. When he asked her whether she was a psychic or a spiritual healer, Elsa demurred. "People are not spiritual enough in this group to understand," she replied. Madonna is, though. Apparently, the Material Girl went out of her way to hear Elsa's predictions for her life, though Elsa wasn't much interested. Ah, well. It must be hard to be so beloved!
Will these women ever be able to get along? We hope not! Let's here it for season 3!