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Reese Witherspoon says that being divorced was hard work -- although she didn't realize it until she was remarried. In the October issue of Marie Claire, Witherspoon, 35, opens up about her traumatic split from actor Ryan Phillippe, and her fresh start with talent agent Jim Toth.
"I was hard on myself when I got divorced. And until I got remarried, I don't think I realized how stressed I was," says Witherspoon, who divorced Phillippe in 2007 after eight years of marriage.
"I feel so much relief," continues the Water for Elephants star. "I don't think I recognized how anxious I was about being a single parent. It was really, really stressful. It's not easy on anybody."
Witherspoon has two children with Phillippe: Ava, 12, and Deacon, nearly 8. As hard as the divorce was on her, she says, anyone who thinks it's easy for kids is fooling themselves.
"I think Nora Ephron says in one of her books, 'You know, don't kid yourself, divorce is really hard on your children. It's really hard. Children will not be better for it,'" she says. "I mean, there are extenuating circumstances. I'm sure everybody's life is different, so I shouldn't say that. But it's really traumatic."
The Oscar-winning actress says that she feared she'd never find a man who could accept her two children -- as a close friend once told her. ("I thought it was just the most horrifying thing someone ever said to me in my entire life," she reflects.) Luckily, Toth, who she married in March, proved that friend wrong.
"I got very lucky, and he's wonderful. And so wonderful with the children," she gushes.
Coupled with her new relationship, Witherspoon says that getting older has given her a fresh outlook on life.
"I always had a lot of confidence when I was younger, and then I think I got a little nervous in my 20s," she confesses. "But now I feel better. Now I'm in my 30s, totally better. A little more confident again. Not as scared."
