I will lighten up
The pursuit and maintenance of coupling may have made me do surprising things, but even more astounding was what it made me forget. I am pretty damn awesome. I am funny and talented, and I look pretty smokin' in jeans and stilettos. Getting caught up in the worry of trying to please a man, and working overtime to postpone an inevitable breakup is a huge time-waster. And a killjoy. A man's opinion of me is not more important that my own opinion of myself, so I shouldn't take it so seriously. I will remember to laugh more, worry less and like who I am — man or no man — and to redirect some of that energy into pleasing myself.
Unlike New Year's resolutions, which last only as long as my dieting attention span (six weeks max), my Relationship Resolutions have become ironclad. They've become a safety net and are a constant reminder that I don't need to second-guess myself or feel insecure. By wising up and following my resolutions, I might spend more time by myself than I did in the past. But on the upside, I've discovered that I like the company a whole lot more.
Heather Hunter writes the iVillage blog ThisFish.