How To Get Through Your First Date After the Divorce

Coming out of a relationship can be a miserable time. And since misery loves nothing so much as company, it is difficult to withstand the temptation to forget about what ails you by jumping into another relationship. The problem with using other people as heartbreak menders is that it can turn into a pattern. Next thing you know you've got a list of busted relationships a mile long and no idea as to why your love life seems destined for failure.

As anyone who has ever been there will tell you, be sure to stay away from any new relationships until you are good and ready. When you're on the rebound, you are especially vulnerable and could put yourself in situations or relationships that you normally wouldn't be caught dead in. Better you clear your plate of all liaisons and concentrate on yourself for a while. Think about your past relationship issues and learn from them. Because, as the saying goes, those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. So if you truly want to enjoy what the future has in store, give yourself time to come to terms with your past.

The Ex Factor Upon breaking up, many a couple fantasizes about getting back together. Long nights spent alone can wreak havoc on anyone's psyche, especially if you don't have the first clue about how to work that solitaire icon on your computer. So be forewarned: the urge to reconcile will be strong, but you must be stronger. After all, you did have a perfectly good reason for breaking up, right?

If the temptation to call your ex or show up at his or her house is just too overwhelming, head straight for your daily planner and make an appointment to call the next day. Yes, go ahead and write it down in permanent marker. This will allow you to rest easy for the time being. Chances are that come sunup you'll be looking at your agenda and shaking your head in bewilderment or disgust.

The more times you resist the impulse to come crawling back, the better you'll get at spending time without an escort. Once you're not so desperate for company and thinking more clearly, you'll finally be able to judge whether you did the right thing. Until that time comes, you should stock up on some serious willpower if you don't want to get into a vicious cycle of an on-again, off-again love affair.

If you're ready, click here for the rules of the post-divorce dating game: