Resolve to Re-ignite the Romance

My resolution for the new year is to revive the intimacy and the romance in my 15-year marriage. I'm open to any and all ideas! I want my man to burn with desire for me like he did in the "old" days. We are in our late-thirties and life should still be filled with magic. --M


Dear M:

Yes, for ones so young you deserve a forest fire! The fact that you and your husband have been together for at least 15 years is a testament to the love that forms the foundation of your marriage. It's not unusual to have the glimmer fade over time, especially when the daily chores of fast-paced life in the 21st century take their toll. Perhaps after this period of time life for you two has become humdrum. I am happy, though, that you are still dedicated to making this work -- with pizzazz and heat.

Here is a wild idea: Why not set aside time for a holiday ritual to re-ignite your attraction? This is the perfect time for buying household items that sparkle and literally spice up your home, such as candles, sweet-smelling herbs, incense and brightly-lit strands of dancing lights. It doesn't matter which religion you are (or whether you observe at all), the holiday season is the perfect time to focus on the blessings of spirituality, love and romance. One of my favorite books is Goddess in My Pocket by Patricia Telesco, subtitled Simple Spells, Charms, Potions and Chants to Get You Everything You Want. Another is Sexual Bewitchery and other Ancient Feminine Wiles by Dolnick, Condon and Limoges. Both are excellent guides for using the elements and forces of nature (such as crystals, incense, aromatherapy, colored candles, lighting, phases of the moon and special sounds) to bring about a desired result. I believe that if you experiment with creating the proper mood, using "tools" to create a new possibility for love and romance, and say the words that call forth new energies, anything's possible -- all of it helpful, safe, healthful and good.

Try out a ritual such as this one: Start by lighting two red or rose candles anointed with rose or vanilla oils and surrounded by the dried petals of two roses. If you want, ask for the power of the Goddess Aphrodite -- goddess of love and passion -- to be with you. Now both of you face each other, holding glasses filled with red or rosy wine. Look into each other's eyes and state your vows to rekindle your love and romance. You might read aloud together the following words: "Thanks for this perfect, beauteous holiday time to remind us of the abundant love that we share and of the radiance of the season that brings us warmth and passion." Sip the wine ceremonially and hold hands to seal the vow. When you want the ritual to end, blow out the candles.

Perhaps by focusing as a couple on a positive outcome (boosted by these little trinkets and practices) all of that magic will reappear -- poof! You will then have to beg him to stop pursuing you so that sleep can once again be part of your life!

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