Photo Credit: Dave J Hogan/Getty Images
We'd love to look like Rihanna, but do we want to dress like her? That's the hope behind the singer's new fashion line, designed by Rihanna herself, which will debut at London Fashion Week before showing up on the racks at U.K. retailer River Island.
"I have wanted to design my own collection for a long time and to present my collection for River Island alongside all of the other great design talent at London Fashion Week is a real privilege," the pop star wrote in a statement for the River Island website. "I can’t wait to see the reaction from my fans and the fashion press!”
Well then -- allow us to get the ball rolling! First of all, we find it ironic that Rihanna is releasing a fashion line at a time when she barely wears clothes anymore. A fashion line modeled on her personal style, as conveyed by a year's worth of Twitpics, would consist entirely of lacy bras, wacky headpieces and temporary tattoos. To get the look, just throw off your pants, throw on a bridal veil and hit the town!
We're guessing, however, that River Island commissioned looks that include pants. Probably shirts, too.
Still, we're skeptical that we will will want to purchase any clothing from the House of Rihanna. And it's not because Rihanna doesn't look great. She always looks great. And she looks great in things that would look absolutely, totally horrible on anybody except Rihanna.
Take, for example, this recent tour look. She's wearing a see-through mesh shirt with a marijuana leaf printed on it. She is wearing this as a dress. When Rihanna does it, she looks like a movie star. If any of us tried it, we'd probably get kicked out of 7-11 for violating the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" rule.
Target Presse Agentur Gmbh/Getty Images
Here's another one, also from the 777 Tour. She's wearing some sort of Oxford shirt-bomber jacket hybrid, open over a white bustier, with wide-leg capri pants that hit mid-calf. (Are they culottes? Gaucho pants?) Until we saw this picture, you could not have convinced us that those pants could look good on anybody. Is the moral of this story "You, too, could look good in wide-leg capris if you pair them with a bustier and bomber jacket"? No, the moral of this story is, "You do not look like Rihanna."
And we couldn't forget this nautical gem, which landed RiRi on iVillage's list of the worst celebrity fashions of 2012. The over-sized striped suit has us missing those lacy bras!
Of course, we'll wait and reserve our final judgement until the line actually debuts. RiRi could give us a pleasant surprise. (After all, we do love her hair -- and her taste in shoes!)