Photo Credit: Associated Press via YouTube
What a week! Romney made a funny, Clinton raided the accessory closet, and Anderson Cooper got nasty. So let’s get to it: Here are nine of the best quips inspired by the week’s events.
1. Romney’s Prank on the Press
Often cited for his awkward stiffness -- who can forget the line about the trees being “the right height?” -- Mitt Romney is apparently trying to loosen up on his swing-state bus tour. The presidential hopeful taped a hand-written note near the entrance of the bus carrying the traveling press corps. It read: “You guys have it way too soft -- nice ride. Mitt P.S. Erased your hard drives.”
2. The Romney Boys on Conan
In related news, all five of Romney’s sons appeared on Conan O’Brien’s show. And although they weren’t there to discuss heavy matters like immigration or gay marriage, they did talk about their dad’s love of pranks. Eldest son Tagg told the story of the time their dad used nail polish to spell out "H-E-L-P" on the soles of his friend's shoes on his wedding day. "It was a Catholic wedding," Tagg said, "so when he knelt down to be blessed by the Father, the words 'HELP' appeared. I'm not sure they're still friends."
3. Secretary Clinton Accessorizes
Speaking of loosening up, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton sported some fun accessories—Mardi Gras-style beads and colorful sunglasses—while she was swearing in Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs Michael Hammer on Thursday. "Mike, I was in a real dilemma. I have pantsuits in nearly every color—except purple,” Clinton kidded with Hammer about his favorite color. (His wife and kids wore accents in the hue for the occasion.) It was only the latest demonstration of Clinton’s (newfound?) signature cool.
4. The Controversy Surrounding Lisa Brown’s “Vagina”
Last week, house Republicans prohibited state Representative Lisa Brown (D-MI) along with colleague Representative Barb Byrum (D-MI) from speaking on the floor after Brown ended a speech against a bill restricting abortions by saying, "I'm flattered that you're all so interested in my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no.’” She responded to the controversy in an opinion piece on CNN this week, which included this defense: “As Republicans continued to throw mud against the wall to see what stuck, they only made it worse for themselves. Thousands of women, not only in Michigan but across the country and even around the globe, saw exactly what was going on. What they saw was a male-dominated legislative body going to great lengths to silence two women who dared speak in opposition to a measure that would limit access to our health care.”
5. Blake Farenthold’s Immigration Allegation
In a discussion about immigration with host Soledad O’Brien on CNN’s Starting Point on Monday, Representative Blake Farenthold (R-TX) said that 16-year-olds who came to the U.S. illegally with their families “had a say in it.” Challenged by O’Brien’s skepticism over the veracity of the remark, the guest doubled down. “They’re certainly in a position to have a conversation with their parents about it,” Farenthold said. “Believe me, my 16-year-old daughter has given me some input on everything—pretty much everything the family wants to do.” Oversimplify much, Farenthold?
6. Adam Carolla’s Sexist Comments
Comedian Adam Carolla made an array of barely believable sexist comments during a recent New York Post interview, causing the Internet to light up in response. Discussing his new book, Not Taco Bell Material, on Sunday, Carolla was asked, "Do you hate working with women?" He answered, “No. But they make you hire a certain number of chicks, and they’re always the least funny on the writing staff. The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I’m just gonna tell her, ‘Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.’” Get that No. 1 dad T-shirt ready!
7. Colbert’s Take on Fast & Furious
Stephen Colbert took on the government’s coverup of operation Fast & Furious—and the right-wing suggestions that the whole program was a ploy by left-wingers to limit second-amendment rights. Colbert offered this theory: “Very clearly Obama started this gun-tracking program in 2006 when he hypnotized George Bush. Then he secretly ordered Attorney General Holder to order the justice department to order the ATF to order gun shops to sell guns to Mexican drug cartels and then lose track of them thereby panicking Americans to gin up support for the Draconian gun control measures that Obama has never introduced.” Congress found Eric Holder in contempt over the matter this week.
8. Jon Stewart Comforts the Drachma
Since the people of Greece voted to stay in the European Union, the obsolete Greek drachma won’t get a chance to come back into the spotlight. On The Daily Show, Jon Stewart consoled the currency. In the clip, correspondents Jason Jones, Wyatt Cenac, and John Oliver play the parts of the various European currencies—their faces superimposed on coins and bills—to argue about who’s worth more. Have a look:
|The Daily Show with Jon Stewart||Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c|
9. Joe William’s Twitter Tirade
The Web site Politico said late on Thursday that it had suspended one of its White House reporters for comments about Mitt Romney. According to The New York Times, “The reporter, Joe Williams, had a history of describing Mr. Romney and other conservatives in provocative terms on his Twitter feed. And on Thursday, after Mr. Williams appeared on MSNBC and said that Mr. Romney only appeared comfortable around ‘white folks,’ Politico said that it had taken action. In a memo to the staff, the Web site’s editors said his comments were regrettable and inappropriate.”
Alesandra Dubin is a Los Angeles-based writer. Follow her on Twitter: @alicedubin.