Grill Yourself about What the Attraction Really Is
Dating a friend’s ex-boyfriend isn’t just playing with fire -- it’s a bomb that can implode your whole social circle. Your friendship may not survive, and if it does, it will never be the same. “That sounds so ominous, but your day-to-day dynamic and the context of what you share with each other will be different,” says dating expert Natasha Burton, co-author of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags. “I’d caution women to take stock of their friendship and ask ‘Is this guy really worth it?’” Ask yourself Are you drawn to the excitement of plucking forbidden fruit? Or is there an authentic connection that you can see going the distance? “There has to be more than the thrill of the drama because eventually that will fizzle out,” says Lisa Paz, Ph.D., a marriage, family and sex therapist in Miami.