Russell Brand on Kissing Jennifer Garner and Tapping into Helen Mirren's Naughty Side

The Arthur star talks about making out with Mrs. Ben Affleck and reading X-rated bedtime stories with Dame Mirren

Russell Brand's womanizing days are behind him, but he's still making the most of his time with his female costars.

The comedian and reformed Lothario, who married Katy Perry in October, has some pretty explicit praise for his Arthur castmates Greta Gerwig and Jennifer Garner. Brand tells that up-and-coming actress Gerwig is "delightful and beautiful and funny and smart and the kind of woman you'd give up a billion dollars for." As for Garner -- uh, apparently her mouth is made of cake.

"She's like a fairy princess. There's a brand of red-velvet cake, her mouth is made of that," gushes Brand. "She smashes you in the mouth [in] those kissing scenes. If I was Ben Affleck, man I'd be pissed off."

Hear that, Ben? Brand, who starred in last year's Get Him To the Greek, woos both actresses in Arthur, a remake of the 1981 Dudley Moore comedy about a lovestruck millionaire. In the original, the titular spoiled playboy had a buttoned-up English butler played by John Gielgud. In the Brand version, the part has been reimagined as a female maid played by Helen Mirren. And, according to Brand, Dame Helen is only buttoned-up when the cameras roll! The actor recalls a day of shooting when Mirren's naughty side got the best of her.

"I was in bed with her and she was reading me one of those bedtime stories, one of those sweet charming 'Frog and Toad' stories," recalls Brand. "And she did a dirty version of it. She was like, 'Toad took Frog and mounted him from behind and amounted him smoothly with a rhythmic pace..."

Oh my! We're shocked -- shocked! -- that a 65-year-old British Dame has a mouth like that. And we hope we're just like her someday.

Arthur arrives in theaters April 8.

Do you think Ben Affleck should be jealous of Russell Brand's time with Jennifer Garner? Chime in below!

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