Sure the rules have changed just when the stakes are highest, but these simple steps should help ease the tension between you and your husband when it matters most.
1.) Be aware of what sets you off. What brings out your bad behavior? Is it the pressure you feel when your ovulation stick tells you it's time? Is it the hope that this will be the month? The fear that it may never happen? Whatever it is, be honest with yourself, and your husband. Just talking through your feelings will go a long way toward turning down the tension.
2.) Make time for "date night" and "debate night." Odds are you and your husband may not be on the same page when it comes to ovulation chitchat. While you may feel like he never talks about your efforts, he may feel like it's all you ever want to talk about (that's why he's from Mars and you're from Venus). Set aside one night each week to talk about your pregnancy progress. Get away from the daily interruptions and really dedicate time to talk through your issues. But, don't forget you have a whole life outside of baby making, so make sure you also set up a "date night" where you can talk about anything but your plans for pregnancy. This will help you reconnect as a couple an remind you why you wanted to have his children in the first place.
3.) Make room for romance. Yes, there will always be a higher agenda for your bedroom activity when you are ovulating, but don't lose sight of romance. Would it really hurt to light a few candles and play some soft music? A little effort can go a long way.
4.) Pamper yourself. Tracking your ovulation is stressful. Sex on demand is stressful. The whole process of trying to have a baby is stressful. Why fight it? Just acknowledge it and do everything you can to help ease the tension around "that time of the month." Schedule a massage, book a manicure, grab your girlfriends and catch the latest chick flick. Do anything that allows your mind and body to relax.
5.) Kindness is contagious. Whether he shows it or not, the longer it takes to conceive, the more pressure your husband is going to feel around each month's attempt. Rather than barking commands with the sensitivity of a drill sergeant, why not try a whisper? Leave chocolates on his pillow with a note telling him how sweet a father he will be, or send a flirtatious email scheduling some one-on-one time for later that night. Kindness is contagious. Before you know it, your lethargic husband will not only know when you ovulate, he'll bring flowers home to celebrate.
The pressures of sex on demand will never fully go away -- that is, until you see two pink lines on a pregnancy stick. And since sex will always be part of the equation, whether it's spontaneous or on demand, try to enjoy the process without losing sight of your goal. You're trying to have a baby.