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Our #WeWantSex Twitter Party was nothing if not spicy: iVillage’s Liz Zack (@lizardzack) and sexperts Ian Kerner (@goodinbed), Fawn Weaver (@happywivesclub), Michelle Dozois (@howaboutwe), Celeste Holbrooke (@pure_romance) dished on the surprising results of iVillage’s new Married Sex Survey. And over 500 Twitter followers tweeted everything from what turns them on to creative ways to initiate sex. Needless to say, it was informative!
Here are the top five things we learned:
1. Set Sex Goals
To make sure there’s enough time for a healthy sex life, @beeacutie2 sets “sex goals” with her husband each month. "This month we are doing 29 days of intimacy where every day we have to do something -- a kiss, love note, sex, etc," she said. Whether you commit to get busy six times a month or find new ways to express your desire, set the bar high. Think of how much fun it will be to surpass your goal.
2. Have Ninja Sex
Raise your hand if you've put your kids in front of Sesame Street and ran to the bedroom with your hubby to get in some action before they realize you're gone. According to our survey, nearly 40 percent of moms with kids under ten have! @KaratewithaZ calls this sneaky quickie Ninja Sex: "You can still have fun when you have kids. It's called getting creative!" To get the most out of your Ninja Sex, @lizardzack suggests utilizing the morning hours before the kids wake up and @goodinbed says to put them to bed earlier so you can get to bed earlier, too. @happywivesclub says "ninja sex" can be a sexy preview to having really incredible sex when there's more time.
3. Take the Lead
Though one third of married women in the survey say they’re regularly in the mood to have sex with their hubby, only 13 percent initiate getting down. @patspureromance says "If it is hard for you to initiate, try thinking of all the things your partner loves about you! Your ego will soar!" You're still the sexiest woman in his life, before and after baby.
4. Don't Downplay Date Night
Between soccer games and ballet practice, grocery shopping and long work hours -- it can be easy to flake out on making time for the two of you. But @howaboutwe says you have to make alone time a priority: "Date nights are super-important, maybe the most important activity for couples." Hire a babysitter for a night (or bring in a relative!), share some wine and remember why you fell in love with each other. It'll get you revved up for loving later.
5. Do It When You’re Tired
Fifty-three percent of moms with kids under 10 reported stress and exhaustion as the biggest killers of their libido. But even if you can't imagine lifting a finger, much less getting something else to rise to the occasion, @jessicaSdukes challenges you to go at it anyway: "Just give him 10 little ol' minutes, anyway! You'll, like, be his hero."
Want more tips to make your sex life hotter? Sign up for our Better Sex, Better Relationships Challenge!