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So, you think you found the perfect guy. You're clicking on the emotional front, and now you want to leave a lasting impression in the bedroom too. So what's the big secret? It's not all about knock-his-socks-off sex. When it comes to keeping a guy's interest, the way you approach sex can make all the difference. So follow these four basic rules to keep him coming back for more.
1. Don't be a tease, but don't be a sure thing, either. What many women — and men, for that matter — sometimes fail to realize is that there's a very fine line between being a tease and being playful. If you deny him gratification too often or for too long, he'll probably lose interest and begin to build resentment. While there should never be an expectation of sex, once that expectation has been created, it's very difficult to remove it without creating serious tension.
On the flip side, while men are inherently lazy and do love a sure thing, you also don't want us to take you for granted. Plus, if you're always available to satisfy him, he'll think you're no longer a challenge (and most men love a challenge). So if you can turn down a booty call every now and then, or say no to sex sometimes when you're not really up for it, he's actually going to want to see you more and make more effort.
2. Make him a believer, but don't oversell it. Here's something that isn't exactly a secret: Men all like to think that they're “the man.” So you need to make him feel like he's doing something right! I can't stress enough the importance of playing to the male ego and placating his inevitable insecurities about penis size, stamina and the ability to bring you to orgasm. So if you're not fully satisfied, don't simply fake it for his sake; instead, communicate to him about what is working and praise him for the things he does do well. When a man feels consistently insecure about his ability to please his partner, he may get the urge to duck and run. A sincere compliment here and there will keep him focused on doing better by you in bed — instead of finding someone easier to please.
3. Underpromise, overdeliver. As far as the bedroom is concerned, avoid creating false expectations at all costs. For example, no guy wants to hear about how great you are at giving fellatio if you're not going to perform it on him. And if you promise to “rock his world” and then don't? Well, you're setting him up for disappointment. It's good to be confident, but the less you promise, the less expectation you create and the more pleasant a surprise you can be for him. And when you're a pleasant surprise, there's usually going to be an encore performance; he'll want to see what else you have in your bag of tricks.
4. Desire is key. Most women think great sex is all about the performance. Now, don't get me wrong — if you're really great at something and enjoy doing it, by all means, go right ahead! But it's important to remember that simply expressing a desire for your guy makes a man feel sexually powerful, and making him feel wanted will make him want you even more. So don't forget to let him know how badly you want him, in as much detail as you feel comfortable with. It will be a big turn on for him, even if you aren't the most experienced or skilled at any particular act.