Sexual Radiance: How to Get It

Excerpted from Sexual Radiance

Our society is too focused on the physicality of the sex act. In fact, if approached in a healthy manner with proper attitude and skill, not engaging in a sexual act can be rejuvenating. Sexual activity can be uplifting and healthy as well as depleting, depending on the person's intention and overall physical health. In today's climate, casual sex can be very dangerous, and a single woman can be without a partner for a long time. I have suggested that women take the time to nourish their bodies and do special exercises that will take their sexual energy and move it upwards, thereby utilizing it to rejuvenate the body rather than expending it using stimulating devices. Sometimes the single woman (or woman without a sexual partner) relies on self-stimulation, where the focus becomes self-directed. This, in excess, leads a woman to be less available and less interested in developing a relationship with another person.

In the West, where too often sex is simply intercourse divorced from emotion, creativity and spirituality -- a mechanical act for the purposes of reproduction or transient pleasure -- we consider it {sexual radiance} to be for the young. We assume that our sexual power will be depleted as we age, that postmenopausal women are sexually "worthless" since they can no longer reproduce, and that in time men will no longer be able to "get it up," or want to.

That is why our culture, in its attitudes, popular literature, movies, TV, and particularly in its advertising, promotes the idea that we must maintain youth at all costs (the women in ads for, say, life insurance, dentures and panty shields look, or are made to look, far younger than the "real" women who are the consumers of these products). And it's also why older people are prone to heart ailments and ovarian and prostate cancer -- diseases far less common in the East, where sexuality is believed to be just as vital in later life as in youth, and where sexual attractiveness is based not on looks but on radiance.

Sexual radiance can be a lifelong gift you give to yourself. I have a friend whose widowed mother remarried at the age of eighty! "I couldn't keep my hands off her," her new, eighty-two-year-old husband explained to me. "There's just something about her…."

His voice trailed off because he couldn't find the words to explain what made her so desirable. But I can: sexual radiance….

Sexual radiance only seems mysterious. You can solve the mystery and incorporate sexual radiance into your essence. "Something about you has changed," your friends will say. And your sexual partners will find you more attractive; their own sexual appetite will grow as yours does.

Sexual Radiance. Copyright © 1998 by Susan Taylor. Reprinted with permission from Harmony Books, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved.

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