A recent New York Times article postulates that one thing men and women have in common is that we both get crushes on women. This interests me greatly because I just went through a bad "girl breakup" that was the result of a "girl crush."
If you ever try to discuss the topic of girl crushes with a man, his eyes instantly glaze over and you automatically know it's because he is hearing the "do-wacka-wacka" of cheesy porn music in his head. Sometimes you have to clap your hands together really loudly right in front of his face just to pull him out of his catatonic state.
No, it's not that kind of "girl-on-girl action." A girl crush is where you meet a woman whose sense of style or brilliant achievements or personal charisma makes you kind of adore and worship her.
How It Happens
The New York Times piece quotes Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a learned and attractive author and college professor, who says she has been a frequent object of girl crushes, mostly from her students. I, for one, believe it, because in an odd coincidence I actually had lunch with her very recently, and I'm here to tell you she is prime girl-crush material. She's smart and funny and when she tells you her age you're shocked because she looks so fantastic.
A key element to the girl crush is arguably the appearance of the crushee, and yet the classic girl crush is decidedly nonsexual. (Attention, male readers: Did you hear me? Turn down the "do-wacka" music. Do I have to clap my hands again?)
I think the reason that looks or style factor into the crush equation has to do with the issue of role modeling. I love Oprah Winfrey because she's a true Grrl Genius, and also because she looked impossibly hot on her 50th birthday. On some level I feel that Oprah and Dr. Pepper Schwartz are paving the way for me to be interesting and accomplished and hot at any age.
Just the other day I developed a thing for that woman on CNN who flies around in the eye of a huge rainstorm, just because that is so unbelievably cool. She wore a fetching NASA blue jumpsuit, and she had her hair in a Gidget-style ponytail. My crush was born when she accidentally said, "That's affirmative" to the reporter because that's the kind of mistake you make when you spend the day flying around in a storm. Then she actually blushed from embarrassment.