Should I ask my office crush out?

Dear Sherry:

I have this huge crush on a guy I work with. He knows about it (my office is a gossip mill), but he hasn't said anything about it to me. We exchange smiles and greetings every day, but other than that, we don't get into any conversations. I can feel that maybe this is not going anywhere... What should I do?



Sherry Amatenstein

Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more

Dear Jasmine:

I'm a big believer in the separation of church and state -- or, in this case, work and love. I'm not saying it's impossible to conduct a water-cooler romance, but it's hard to coo and caress in a fishbowl.

Since the object of your affection knows your feelings, I'd let dormant crushes lie. If he asks you out, take it from there. If not, comfort yourself with the thought that if you dated, then broke up, going to work and facing him each day would be just about the most "un-fun" thing in the universe.

So, from 9 to 5 concentrate on work, and after hours make an effort to meet people. Go to seminars, parties, lectures; do volunteer work; ask friends whether they know any great single men. The point is to be so busy and proactive that you have no time to sit around mooning over this guy.

Although I don't believe in MIXING work and love, I'm all for working at finding love.

Need Advice?
Get answers from iVillage experts and other moms just like you!
Question Details
  1. Pick a subject:
Connect with 1,039,394 members just like you
Share your knowledge, ask questions.