Should I go out with a client?
Dear Sherry
I am a social worker, and I find myself falling for one of my clients. This is against the code of ethics for social workers, but I don't know how to change my feelings. My job could be jeopardized because of this.
Emily
Question:Sherry Amatenstein
Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more
Dear Emily
My advice can be summed up in one pithy phrase: "Are you mad?" I know desire is part madness, but control yourself, girlfriend. Men come and go, but careers can hopefully last forever.
Still tempted to do the unthinkable? Of course you are. Let me paint a not-so- pretty picture for you. It's six months down the road, and your affair has burned itself out. (Impossible? Think Shelly Long and Ted Danson on "Cheers," or Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer on "Friends") Best-case scenario: It's ended amicably, and your "sessions" with your ex are painful, uncomfortable and probably not too productive for him. Don't you feel ashamed? Worst-case scenario: it's ended VERY nonamicably and he's out for revenge. Even if he doesn't report you, he can sure make you sweat with the constant threat of his doing so over your head.
The only -- I repeat ONLY -- way I can permit you to even go for a cup of coffee with this guy is if he first switches social workers. (Since your feelings for him are more personal than professional at this point, it's probably a good idea to suggest that he might benefit from another perspective on his problems.) But no switchie, no nookie. Case closed.
Sherry
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