Despite a slew of bad press, the new American edition of OK!, on newsstands now, isn't that bad. (That's a compliment coming from us.) The pictures are fabulous -- there's a stunning pictorial of Jessica Simpson -- but don't look to the weekly to break any big scoops. It's mostly watered-down, fluffy stories, because they pay celebrities for sit-downs. (As we reported Wednesday, they are said to be dropping $2 mil for Michael Jackson's first post-trial interview.) But what struck us while reading OK's features -- keep in mind they are pages upon enormous pages of butt-kissey bull -- is that the more ink you give to some stars, the stupider the stars sound. Here are a few of our favorite quotes from the glossy gossy: Jessica Simpson, who got 10 pages, on her pre-diet eating habits: "I didn't even know you could separate an egg from the white." Tara Reid, eight pages, on the media coverage of her boob job: "It's just been taken way crazy. I mean everyone does it!" And on her fame: "I knew I was popular in America, but I had no idea of the popularity I had in Europe." Kevin Costner, partial page, on trying to get "actress" Jessica Simpson to costar in a Bodyguard sequel: "Ideally, it would be great to get someone like Jessica Simpson on board to take the story to the next level."
On a final OK! note, we have a rant about John O'Hurley, the C-lister who had six pages devoted to his cheesy mug. Why is this guy everywhere? Sure, the former Seinfeld-er made it to the finals of Dancing with the Stars. Big deal. It's not like he turned in some Oscar-winning performance doing Shakespeare. He was ballroom dancing! We couldn't care less about his supposed "three-picture movie deal" (yeah, right!), his home renovations, his trophy wife, his life! And he needs to drop the whole bitterness toward Kelly Monaco for winning the Dancing competition. She won! You lost! Now move on, J. Peterman!