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Yes, these are speech patterns most often spotted in girls -- make that grown women, 'kay? thanks. I've definitely said "listen to this email!" "Is that a cookie?" and "do I look like a doily?" in the past week alone. Okay, maybe not the doily thing, but my sister did just email me to ask, "would I look like a colorful pilgrim in this dress?" so I think the point stands.
But a few parts of the video hit me as just dead wrong -- it may be the kind of sh*t that guys think girls say when they are making fun of women in tired stand-up comedy routines, but we really don't say that stuff, ever. See: Squealing for an unnaturally long time in a bar when greeting a friend. And also: "Twinsies!" when you find out that you're wearing the same bracelet as Juliette Lewis.
And then there are the moments that are true in a painful way. Like the final nine seconds of episode one where Kyle Sheppard-in-drag doesn't say anything at all -- he just stuffs his face with chips while watching television. And the final line of episode two: "I can't believe I ate all of that!" Mindless binge eating and apologizing for every bite of food you put in your mouth are not the sole province of women, but they sure are standard practice for a lot of us.
So are these videos a subversive comment on the way our culture socializes women to be deferential whenever we ask for things or take action (especially "unfeminine" actions like, um, eating)? Or do the creators really think most women are dumb as a box of hair? My heart wants it to be A, but I fear it's more likely B. When Sheppard minces in high heels, wondering, "Did I turn off the stove?" s/he's riffing on some of the most tired themes in the "women, amiright?" playbook, when, in fact, plenty of men ask this question -- and regularly say plenty of the other same sh*t that girls say, reports the Daily Beast.
Perhaps my biggest problem with Sh*t Girls Say is that the punchline to every joke depends on mocking women for saying funny things without realizing it. I'm not disputing that American females of a certain age have certain easily identifiable and often hilarious speech patterns. But dude: We know. We're funny. More than half the time, we're saying that sh*t ironically.
On average, little girls learn to talk earlier than boys, have larger vocabularies and use more complex sentence structures, reports PBS' child development expert David Walsh, PhD. And as we grow up, girls utter two to three times more words per day than boys and even speak faster (twice as many words per minute). Whether this is due to nature or nurture is open to serious scientific debate but one thing is for sure: Women might say a lot of sh*t, but we know what we're talking about. So these videos would be a hella of a lot funnier if they were made by actual girls.