The More Serious Consequences of Low Self-Esteem
Divorce can only become a vehicle for creating a better life when we stop thinking of it as punishment and start seeing it as a process. This process begins with the death of a relationship, proceeds through a period of grief and mourning in which the death is recognized and accepted, is followed by a time of readjustment and rebuilding self-esteem, and ends with the rebirth of an independent single person. If you learn to love and accept yourself, you may begin to see your human fallibility as a threshold to personal growth.
Your real self has been waiting for you. When you shift from "other-esteem" to good self-esteem, your future will be filled with possibility!
The uncertainty and insecurity that divorce creates can leave you with an open wound subject to infection. This infection
- drinking to excess
- promiscuity (or dating inappropriate people)
- pill popping (over-the-counter or prescription meds)
- starving yourself to be thin
--or overeating to comfort yourself
- staying in a toxic work situation
Make sure you get professional help if you feel an "infection" coming on.
Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, spiritual counselor, and personal coach practicing in Hawthorne, NY. She is the co-author of I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Coping and Healing after the Death of a Loved One. She has personally experienced divorce twice and is now happily married.
Divorce Magazine provides advice and support for those coping with separation, divorce, and remarriage. For more tips and stories, visit www.DivorceMagazine.com.