- Before going to bed each night, think of at least three things you did today of which you are proud. This could range from getting to work on time, keeping your temper when your ex tried to push your buttons, or finding the courage to say hello to that gorgeous person in sales.
- Write about at least one thing you did this week you'd thought you couldn't do. Mike wrote, "I went out to dinner alone, and I organized the kitchen cabinets!" Jim wrote, "I helped my daughter with her homework and baked cookies for her!" Karin, who thought she couldn't do anything right, wrote, "I changed the oil in my car and mowed the lawn!" Hang a note on your bathroom mirror or your refrigerator that says, "I am proud of myself because I ___________________________ (you fill in the blank)."
- Do something good for someone else in need. Doing a good deed is great for your self-esteem
--and for the person you've helped.
What You Should Write in Your Journal
It's time you began to appreciate yourself! Write the following affirmations in your journal or on sticky notes you put around the house (pick ones that fit you best). Reading them to yourself when times are tough will help you develop a sense of pride and gratitude for yourself.
- I APPRECIATE myself for seeing the positive lessons in what appeared to be a negative situation. We sometimes learn lessons the hard way and can feel guilty for needing to learn this way. Consider the possibility that we are here to transmute every negative situation into positive love for ourselves and service to others
--and thank yourself for being willing to learn.
- I APPRECIATE myself for doing what was fearful. You got out of a bad situation by making some difficult decisions.
- I APPRECIATE myself for making positive changes in my life. "Change" is your willingness to remove the barriers you felt were necessary to protect yourself. You built up walls over time that began to look like your true self
--your true self was under a protective cover and you have begun to "come out."
- I APPRECIATE myself for letting go of the past to create positive experiences in the present that will insure a healthy and happy future. Letting go is not easy, and the more you can stay in the present reality, the more energy you will have to move into the future.
- I APPRECIATE myself for getting this far in the journey. Some things were difficult to realize and take action on. You could have stopped this process at any time. You could have held on to your initial pain instead of looking for ways to make your life work better.
- I APPRECIATE myself for risking new things. It takes courage to analyze yesterday and risk a new tomorrow.
- I APPRECIATE myself for engaging in a healing process. It takes courage to trust in the process of healing at a time when trust itself may have been broken or destroyed. The divorce experience can provide the basis for growing and expanding us as human beings in ways we never thought we were capable of surviving.