Size Does Matter (Sometimes)

ON Jan 1, 1999 at 12:00PM

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Dear Dr. Patti:

Is it possible that my lover's penis is too large? I find intercourse painful at times, which has never happened with other men.

G

Question:

Dear G:

A. Yes, a penis can be too large for your comfort, and the size may cause friction or other types of pain. The average circumference of a human male's erect penis is 4.85 inches; when a woman complains about her partner's penis being too small, it often reflects a problem with girth rather than length. By the same token, some women have tight vaginas and others are roomier. So it may be that you and your lover are simply not a "perfect fit."

I suggest that you take the following precautions before having sex with your lover again: First, make sure that you use a personal lubricator such as Foreplay, Wet, Astroglide, Probe, or a new product on the market that claims to be a chemical barrier against STDs, Erogel. Second, make sure that you are sufficiently aroused. Increase your foreplay time, and encourage him to go slowly and carefully when he penetrates you. Finally, talk to him about the problem. Men need to be taught that sometimes their bodies do not naturally fit into ours. If the pain persists, you should also see a gynecologist to assure that you do not have some form of vaginitis or STDs, which may contribute to your discomfort.

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