Size Matters: Two Solutions for Small Situations
I am dating a wonderful guy who I really care about. I am disappointed, however, with his penis size: It's not big enough to give me an orgasm. While he does make up for this problem with oral sex, is there anything else that we can do? --iVillager traceeanne
Question:Michael Ra Bouchard, MA, PhD
Dr. Bouchard is a board-certified clinical sexologist with a PhD in human sexuality. He lives in Hawaii, where he founded the Aloha Sexual... Read more
Dear friend:
I think that we all need to accept the fact that size does matter. Size preference, however, is a subjective matter that's unique to the physical build and romantic desires of each woman.
In your case, it sounds as if you would be better satisfied by a larger penis, and it just may be so. Some women do need a larger penis to feel fully aroused. Still, it doesn't mean you can't do something about it with your present honey, especially if he's the "keeper" that you describe him to be. Here are my top two tips:
1. Experiment with sex toys. One handy sex aid is a penis or girth extender, which is essentially a set of pliant silicone inserts that a man can place alongside his penis and hold in place with rings or with a condom. Both couples still feel the closeness of sexual intimacy while augmenting the woman's pleasure through the additional length or girth.
2. Try different positions. This will allow for deeper penetration or clitoral stimulation for you. The vagina itself is rather tiny (4 to 5 inches in length), but when aroused, it can expand elastically to double (or more) its un-aroused size. But more important than size for many women is positioning -- that is, how and where the penis rubs against their clitoris, labial opening and vaginal walls. Experiment together. Buy a great book on the Kama Sutra, and try different positions to see which are most pleasurable for you.
Most of all, have fun with these experiments. Remember to focus on the connection with your honey and the non-penetrative sexual stimulation you are giving and receiving from each other. With a little homework, experimentation and practice you'll almost assuredly be able to increase both your overall sexual excitement and satisfaction.
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