The Smart Divorce: Expert Advice You Need Now

Chat with Susan T. Goldstein and Valerie Colb, authors of The Smart Divorce

zena_19_98: I divorced my first husband seven years ago. Do you have any suggestions on how to convince him that he is not hurting me by not seeing his kids, that he is instead hurting them?
susanterry: Hi Zena. You might want to suggest family counseling; you might have your children write him a letter telling him what they're up to; you might suggest that you and he go talk to someone about better coparenting. It would be great if you could try to talk to your ex or perhaps have a mutual friend talk to him. Hope this helps.
30_heather: I have just told my husband that I don't love him anymore ... he wants to seek help. Should I go for him even though I don't think it will help?
thesmartdivorce: You never know what might or might not help. For example, even if help doesn't bring you two back together, it might smooth the transition into divorce.
iodot: My husband and I live in community property states -- Texas and New Mexico. He is raking up enormous debt on his credit cards, but won't tell me how much. Who is responsible for that debt and how can I avoid paying it?
thesmartdivorce: Depending on the law of the state, normally you will be responsible for the debt. Try taking your name off the credit card or canceling it entirely. You can call the credit card company to find out the balance so you know the bad news and can see whom the debt is owed to.
susanterry: Iodot, be sure you get your name off the credit cards. If the debts are for your benefit, you may be on the hook. You may want to consider a legal separation.

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