When I was a summer camp counselor, the staff show was Little Shop of Horrors. To viewers, the main feature may have been watching this tiny, singing plant eventually take over the world, but for me it was watching my boyfriend at the time (playing Seymour) have to kiss my friend/our director (who played Audrey). Hey, you just don’t get that many non-cheating opportunities to critique who you’re going out with’s, er, technique. Needless to say, the memory hadn’t crept up for awhile until, oddly enough, last night’s SYTYCD episode.
Upon Cat’s wardrobe appearance, I couldn’t quite be certain of its style: was it ’80s prom, or Jolly Green Giant sponsorship? The dress was so large it appeared to be growing unto itself and feeding off its (our!) host. It says a lot that she so selflessly sacrifices herself on the altar of fashion dignity on a bi-weekly basis. Conclusion: The dress clearly defied gravity; it either needed to win a CFDA or be burned at the stake for heresy.
Since Cedric’s waxing nostalgic last evening proved worthy of saving he and Shauna from the bottom three, it was Anya and Danny surprisingly thrown out to perform. VoteForTheWorst.com, are you in on this one, too?
“It’s not that America is voting you into the bottom three,” preached Nigel, “It’s just that they didn’t vote you into the top 4.” Um, maybe it’s me, but not being in the top 4 is still getting voted into the bottom three. Where did he go to school, The Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too?
While Pasha and Jessi were finally allowed to perform their routine from last night, Jessi knew that she would automatically be in the bottom three. After, she turned to Pasha. “He’s my wanna-be boyfriend,” she told Cat, as Pasha looked nervous in an “I’mnotreadyforthisI’mfreakingoutmakeitstop,man”-type way. It was very Chris O’Donnell in The Bachelor. Try not to blow it at The Starlight Room!
After her less-than-stellar solo last week that barely saved her, it was fairly obvious that Jessi would be leaving (though Lauren’s use of K-Fed-Ex’s “Popozao” really should have called for automatic disqualification). Neil surely deserved to stay, if for nothing else than his argyle sweater vest.
Everyone else seemed to perform in their usual manner, but it wasn’t until Anya performed that I was truly captivated. Her costume! It was so intriguing! It was mesh, yet feathered? And sequined? And glowed in the dark? Was she slowly morphing into one of those deep-water fish that have to produce its own light?
The women’s decision, which was not unanimous, sent Jessi home. The men’s decision was, however, and it sent Jesus packing. It was so sad since the judges had been DYING to give Cedric the boot all week. Don’t you just hate when fate throws a cramp in your style? Fate is such a hater, man. When faced with the opportunity of who to keep and who should leave, the judges pulled their usual move: keeping the dancers with classical training.
When Jesus was told the news, he looked crushed. He truly had come so far, and it was a buzz kill to see him go. He almost cried, and as tempting as it is, I’ll skip the obvious “Jesus wept” photo caption. It was more downright tragic than Fergie Ferg’s performance in those fug knickers of hers.
Did Jesus deserve the boot?
Is Nigel one step closer to having Pasha all to himself?
Will Anya’s bioluminescence attract enough prey for her survival?
What did you think about last night’s episode?
