Having a guest directer/preacher/choreographer judge: Unknown dollars.
Having Hilary Duff perform on your program: Unknown dollars.
Attending the premiere of Hairspray: Unknown dollars.
Last night's episode of So You Think You Can Dance: priceless.
Welcome back to everyone – you know you missed us in the past 24 hours.
Cat’s dress could have been worse than what appeared to be a Betsey Johnson, so we’ll leave it and her attempted Sienna Miller hairdo out of it. Worst dressed of the night by far was Mary Cherry, with her cherry dress and matching accessories. Were the cherry earrings and matching necklace truly necessary? Their fashion choices hurt my brain. Is this what an aneurism feels like?
Adam Shankman did his Hairspray thing to “You Can’t Stop the Beat,” which was way more put-together than that Lion King performance from two weeks ago that Julie Taymor is still crying over. The hardest aspects appeared to be the speed of the routine and that the dresses totally threw off the timing. There’s no way it’s easy to dance in those bottom-heavy ‘50s dresses with all the tulle, so that’s a definite get out of jail free card. Certain moves looked did look a little Grease breakdown a la the prom dance-off scene, but why not? There's not a way you wouldn't tie the two together, anyway.
Luckily, we also got a backstage pass to see how The Shankman put the rehearsal together. They were going to rehearse to the death! TO THE DEATH! Ninja star! After that, it was all about hungry jazz faces and The Shankman proving that, yes, he still had it, as he flipped and attempted to do the tricks the teenagers did. He was shaking his groove thing, iced coffee in hand.
“I’m 40-%^$&*-ing-2; I don’t have to be doing this!” he barked, tapping away as his venti-mocha-frappa-caffe-iced whatever it was threatened to careen out of control. The Shankman works with profanity the way other artists work with oils or clay. It was his true medium; a master. Just don’t shoot your eye out, kid.
Breaking down the nitty gritty, we found out that Danny and Anya, Shauna and Cedric, and Hok and Jaimie were not safe. Danny shot the camera his infamous Look of Death and Anya started tearing up. I mean that, like, sucks and all but dudes, there's, like, totally, like, a Hairspray premiere to go to. It was cute Adam took the kids out to his movie premiere where they met all the stars, who immediately insisted all the dancers on the show are way better dancers than they. Bruised egos, ahoy! And never louder has an audience screamed than when Zac Efron appeared in all his his orange tan-tastic glory. Yes, SYTYCD, 13-year-olds are apparently your target audience. I momentarily forgot this was a dance program and not a cover shoot for Tiger Beat.
When it came time to dance for their lives, it actually seemed like Hok and Jaimie could be going home. No, not our golden couple! We haven’t even christened them yet! Oh America, how cruel you determine fates of D-list celebrities. And did anyone else notice the accidental shot of the darkened, empty stage that was clipped in for about 2 seconds? Strike 1 for "live" television.
In my life, there are many musical performances I’d kill to see. In fact, every artist goes on a hypothetical ladder in my mind – the acts I really want to see are at the top, while acts I have no interest in hunker around the bottom. Hilary Duff would be the last artist I may ever have wanted to see perform live – EVER – so this was an interesting experience. Hilary came out to perform “Stranger” as the judges went offstage to deliberate. And while she performed in that pink getup and channeled her attempt at Shakira, it struck me that Miss Hilary was actually more mature than other performers her age, as she didn’t have to beat you over the head with anything to remind you that she was 1) hot, 2) sexy, 3) half-naked … but I repeat myself. You rather felt for the girl as her brow knitted in concentration to count the few steps she actually danced. The song's performance didn’t have to be difficult for her to come across as a mature performer. Her album is called Dignity, after all. We may even let her little comment about Joel’s rebound relationship slip past. Oh, and the abs from her recent Shape magazine cover? They’re real.
Eliminations tonight were shocking. I had felt any of the girls could go home, but that it would be Jaimie or Anya instead of Shauna. But Shauna left us, and took down Cedric with her – praise Jebus! Cat seemed especially sad that Cedric left, but that was probably because he was the only performer taller than her. As the music played and the cameras cut away, all the dancers rushed to Shauna and surrounded her as she appeared to break down in tears. Last night’s episode was a total downer on the female elimination front.
So, should Shauna have gotten the boot?
Did America get it wrong?
