Solve Your Dating Dilemmas (and Find Love Fast!)

Step 4: Managing the Ups and Downs of Dating

Julia Name: Julia
Age: 34
Dating Dilemma: Julia finds herself falling into the same problem pattern in nearly every relationship: Like many women, she has a low body-image and finds it hard to trust the partners that she chooses. And once a partner senses that something is wrong he usually backs off, leaving Julia disappointed. But now she's ready to change her love life! Julia's goal during this Love Lesson is to improve her self-esteem. Then she'll be ready to find (and begin) a healthy new relationship.

Now: Julia is discouraged, fatigued, stuck. She spent the week writing and writing and writing in her journal. Having completed her Romantic Resume, she undertook a resume of her relationships with her mother, father and stepfather. "I wanted to see who I was with each of them, because it's within these primary relationships that I learned about love," she says. This investigative work uncovered the fact that Julia at 8 was a caretaker with her mom, and Julia at 28 was a caretaker with lovers. In addition to mothering romantic partners, she also constantly tried to prove herself with them, as had little Julia with her distant daddy.

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