Staying intimate while nursing

The first time I was pregnant (and later nursing), sex with my husband diminished. Now I'm pregnant again and concerned about our relationship once the new baby is here. In addition to feeling "touched out," making love was uncomfortable. Nursing bras are very unsexy in bed and they leak! Are nursing and sex life even compatible?


Debbi Donovan

Debbi Donovan is a Board Certified Lactation Consultant, as well as a retired La Leche League Leader. For more than a decade, Debbi... Read more

Maintaining intimacy post baby is very important but not always easy (no one ever intends to let it take the back seat) But for new moms, sleep takes on great importnace and can seem more vital than sex.

You may very likely feel "touched-out" by the end of a long day. This does not mean you don't want to be touched. Youmay just need a bit of help to transition from the role of mother to lover. Ask your partner for help, and begin sharing your needs for touch and romance -- not just at bedtime, but throughout the day. Most men are more than willing to help out, especially if it means they'll be enjoying their partner's company, both in and out of bed.

 Making love should not be uncomfortable. You may experience a decrease in vaginal lubrication, even when fully aroused. It's importnat to understand that a lack of lubrication does indicate lack of desire. Vaginal dryness is easily to remedy with a water-soluble lubricant.  

It is common for milk to spray when reaching orgasm. This is more common in the early months following birth, and when breasts are full. The hormone, ocytocin, is released during orgasm, causing milk to eject. This little side effect can be a bummer, but can be fixed by nursing your baby just before you become intimate. If your milk still sprays and you find it more comfortable to wear a bra to bed, why not ditch the nursing bra and choose some sexy lingerie to wear . You can even slip on a thick cotton nursing pad into your lacy bra to help catch the flow.

Be creative with your timing. Your newborn may wake up while you are in the throes of passion and you'll need to temporarily postpone your session. Try a new location, too. This will give you both a chance to expore other ares of your house. You may very well find that this openness and experimentation actually begins to spice up your sex life, and that it is better than ever.

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