I'm not saying that you should swallow your anger or deny your true feelings. But if you want to preserve your relationship (and have your needs met), you both must vow to convert raw rage into constructive communications. I can hear you saying, "Forget this. If I'm mad, I want to scream, and that's that." I know that what I have outlined isn't easy. But the only way to experience the joy of being loved and avoid the agony of divorce is to make the choice to control your temper and get rid of your Open Warfare Fight Traps.
Which Open Warfare Fight Traps do you use? Click here to take the test and find out.
The following test will help you identify the fighting behavior that's standing between you and relationship bliss. Choose all the responses that apply.
You and your hubby are locked in a plumbing power struggle. In the middle of the night he always leaves the seat up. You invariably fall in, receiving an unwanted buttocks bath. Standing in the bathroom, your butt dripping wet, you begin to wonder whether a judge would consider chapped cheeks as grounds for divorce. What do you do?
1. Stomp into the bedroom, yank the covers off him, and shout, "Do the terms drenched derriere, dishpan buns or rusty rump mean anything to you?"
Open Warfare Fight Trap: Sarcasm
2. Stampede to the bedroom shouting, "You are such a pig! Where were you raised, in a barn?"
Open Warfare Fight Traps: Character Assassination, Name Calling
3. Enter the bedroom and say, "Not only do you forget to put the seat down, you leave your laundry on the floor, you forget to call me when you're going to be late ..."