Stop Fighting in 30 Days

Step 2: Eliminate Open Warfare

Open Warfare Fight Trap: Kitchen Sinking (throwing everything that's bugging you into one discussion)

4. Tell him, "For 10 years, I've been telling you to put the seat down after you pee, which reminds me of the time you ..."
Open Warfare Fight Trap: Ancient History

5. Tell him, "This is the tenth time this month that I've had to remind you to put the seat down."
Open Warfare Fight Trap: Score Keeping

6. Say to him, "Since you can't remember to put the seat up, I'm calling Dr. Smith to have you checked for Alzheimer's."
Open Warfare Fight Traps: Dirty Pool, Hitting below the Belt

7. Say, "You're always forgetting to do what I ask. You never respond to me.
Open Warfare Fight Trap: Globalizing

8. Say, "You never have to remind me to make your dinner, yet you forget to put the seat down."
Open Warfare Fight Trap: I'm Right/You're Wrong

9. Tell him, "I'm sick and tired of telling you to put the seat down," to which he replies, "You should talk, you never remember to bring my shirts to the laundry."
Open Warfare Fight Trap: Blame Game, Counterattacking

No matter which of the above Open Warfare Fight Traps you and your mate use, you lose. No conflict resolution can occur as long as Fight Traps are on the scene. Identifying your Fight Traps is the first step toward eliminating them.

How do you eliminate your Open Warfare Fight Traps and save your relationship? Click here to find out.

Eliminating your Open Warfare Fight Traps won't be easy, I'm afraid. We are creatures of habit, which means that we seek the comfort of the familiar and avoid the discomfort of change. Even though fighting is uncomfortable, the effort to alter your way of handling conflict is even more uncomfortable. I want to remind you that the temporary discomfort you will experience in giving up your Open Warfare Fight Traps is nothing compared to the pain you will suffer down the line if you choose to keep your Open Warfare Fight Traps alive. Couples in chronic conflict risk physical illness, depression, domestic violence, divorce and even death. According to studies, couples that fight heatedly have much shorter life expectancies than couples who resolve their conflicts amicably.

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