Straight Talk on Dirty Talk

"I'll try, but I don't think I'm very good at it. Can you help me out? What would you like to hear?"

Here at Passion Parties, we generally stick with the clinical terms for sexual acts and body parts because we're adults and we want to talk about the topic in an adult way. That's the rule [I follow in my book], too, but that's not necessarily how you and your man will want to talk in bed. You'll need to find out what works for both of you: "penis" and "vagina" or words that are a bit more down and dirty — which is exactly why they turn you on. If there are words that you just aren't comfortable hearing from your partner, share them with him, and invite him to do the same. If there are words that you find sexy, let him know that, too. Don't be afraid of admitting that you like saying or hearing certain things — passion chat can be a form of role play, and it can be good to experiment with different phrases or expressions to see if they heighten your sexual pleasure.

Some couples make up their own code words for sex, which has the added benefit of letting you talk about it in front of other people — especially your kids. I know one couple who referred to their sex play as "making cookies." "How'd you like to make some cookies later this weekend?" one or the other might ask when they were having dinner with their in-laws, and the sense of a shared secret makes the whole thing even sexier.

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