Scientific Proof: Your Stress Is Scaring Men Away

Pull yourself together and relax if want to keep dating -- guys are naturally repelled by stressed-out woman

If you wear your stress like a badge of honor, you’re not doing your love life any favors. And no, it’s not because you’re likely hunched over your desk all day, biting your fingernails, picking at your face, getting too little sleep, surviving on vending machine vittles, chain-smoking and passing out with a wine bottle in hand. (Though we’re sure none of those things help).

According to a new study, stress does terrible things to your face that guys can actually pick up on. In a word, it makes you ugly.

Researchers found that men, in flipping through pictures of women, rated ladies with the highest levels of the stress hormone cortisol the least attractive.

According to the study’s authors, past research indicates that beauty is related to a person’s overall health and fertility levels, which us humans may be able to detect just by looking at one another -- kind of like the way some dogs sniff out cancer.

By those standards, that must mean Gwyneth Paltrow -- People magazine’s most beautiful woman of 2013 -- is one blissed-out, laidback and fertile babe. Well, good for flipping her.

Researchers also expected to find that women with the highest levels of antibodies -- indicating a strong immune system -- would also be ranked hottest of the lot, but no such luck.

Instead, men prefer women who are younger and neither too thin nor too heavy. And we needed a scientific study to prove this? According to researchers, it’s not that men are shallow pricks (my words, not theirs) -- it’s just that younger women with a healthy amount of body fat tend to be the most bountiful breeders. Being stressed out, an old fogey, overweight or underweight can all lead to problems in the reproductive department, which is not good for guys trying to spread their seed as far as the wind will carry it.

Why dudes don’t care if our immune system puts up a good fight is beyond the researchers, who told LiveScience that it could simply have been a flaw in the way that the study was designed, because neither women nor men are attracted to those who look sickly or diseased, they pointed out.

Unless, of course, you’re Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt. In which case, we’ll forgive your scraggly hobo look, because we know that deep down, you’ve got some beautiful and able-bodied genes that we wouldn’t mind mixing with our own.

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