Suri Cruise Turns Five! How Would You Plan a Spare-No-Expense Kid's Birthday Party?

Happy Birthday, Suri Cruise! Yep, TomKat's little fashionista turns five today. Katie recently said she and her mini-me would “girl it up” with a poolside tea party complete with a piñata to celebrate the big day, which sounds cool and all, but if I had access to the Cruise/Holmes bank account, oh, the things I’d do!

My daughter Chloe is on the road to five herself, and if I had six figures to throw her a dream party, I'd hire designer Betsey Johnson to make outfits for Chloe and her friends and hire fashion photographer Gilles Bensimon to snap pics of the girls as they walked down a real fashion week-worthy runway. If only...

Of course, it's easy to dream big when you're not worried about budget, but I asked celebrity party planner Jes Gordon, owner of jes GORDON/properFUN, author of Party Like A Rock Star…The Celebrity Party Planner’s Tips and Tricks For Throwing An Unforgettable Bash and the mentor on Rocco's Dinner Party, premiering on Bravo on June 15th, for even more awesome, only-in-our-dreams kid’s party ideas. Her suggestions:

Let it snow. Create a winter wonderland in the backyard complete with fake snow, igloos, ice caves and a temporary ice-skating rink. Gordon has made it happen -- but the price tag starts at a cool $50,000 for the rink alone. The igloos? Count on an extra $30,000 or so apiece -- especially when they're decorated inside with lights and pillows. Let kids feast on retro, soda shop-flavored sno cones and send them home with puffer vests and monogrammed scarves, hats and mittens.

Be a star. Got a budding Bieber? Hire a choreographer to teach party guests a hot dance routine, and take them on a behind-the-scenes tour of a recording studio. (Prepare to drop about $50,000 for the experience.) Want the Bieb himself (or Katy Perry, or fill-in-the-blank here) to make an appearance? The price could easily soar to half a million dollars. Gordon once hired the Jonas Brothers to perform for 10 minutes at a bat mitzvah. The price? A whopping $150,000. But every kid left with a CD of the whole group singing along with the guys.

Channel Willy Wonka. Take the typical birthday party sugar high to, well, a new high by creating a life-size cave out of real chocolate. Gordon has done it -- for upwards of $100,000 -- by building a structure and pouring liquid chocolate over it and letting it harden. (Don't try this one outside, though!) Inside, decorate with a chocolate chandelier and make an edible wall "papered" with candy bars. Add a massive chocolate fountain that kids can dip fruit and marshmallows into, and let them craft their own candy bars to take home.

After all that, somehow renting a simple bouncy castle doesn't seem excessive. Luckily, my daughter's next birthday isn’t until November. Do you think I could get someone to breed me a unicorn by then?

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