Surviving Divorce -- and Making Your Life Better Than Ever

Step 3: Surrender: Allowing Change to Happen

Be Patient with Yourself -- and Your Situation

Allowing change to happen takes patience. If you become too focused on the outcome rather than on the progress you're making, you may panic and miss the fact that you are making progress -- step by step. When you surrender your will and allow change to happen you are saying, "Even though things are not exactly how I'd like them to be, I will face my reality. I will look it directly in the eye and allow it to be here." Choose to trust that there is a greater plan for you and if you allow life to happen as it should, your plan will be unfolded in time.

Surrender is a gift that you can give yourself. It's an act of faith. It's saying that even though you can't see where this river is flowing, you trust it will take you in the right direction.

Healing Action Steps:

This lesson's exercise can be written privately in your own journal. It's important that you bring your full attention to answering each of the questions below. All the answers you need are inside of you; you only have to become quiet enough to hear them. Leave yourself plenty of time and completely surrender to the process. You may want to light some candles, put on some soft music and create a nurturing atmosphere.

What scares you the most about your divorce? Having less money? Caring for your children? Being lonely? Make a list of your worst fears without editing them. The purpose of this exercise is to identify your fears, imagine the worst possible outcome and discover what you could do to turn the situation around. Looking at the worst possible outcome, imagine that what you've feared has come true. Now ask yourself these questions:

  1. Now that this has happened, what do I need to do to be happy?
  2. What steps do I need to take?
  3. Who do I need to contact?
  4. Where do I need to go?
  5. What do I need to change?

When you can be at peace with the worst possible outcome, you will finally be ready to accept change -- and get on with discovering how great your life can be.

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