Surviving Divorce -- and Making Your Life Better Than Ever

Step 4: Self Love: Recognizing Your Worth

Take Back Your Special Gifts

Now, try to take the time to see what you were attracted to in your partner. Once you understand this connection, you'll be able to reclaim any aspects you have given away to him, consciously or unconsciously. Maybe your husband is walking away with your success or your stature in life. Maybe your husband is leaving with your kindness and compassion. Did you give your husband your sexiness and now fear that you won't have access to it if he leaves? Is your husband walking out the door with the part of you that is powerful and strong? You gave these parts of yourself away because you believed that they were qualities that only your partner possessed, but now it's time to take them back. Until you do this, it will be impossible to fully let him or her go.

Healing Action Steps:

If you're ready to bring this lesson to life, you can record your thoughts in a private journal.

  1. List three people you admire and identify three qualities in each of them that you would like to emulate. Close your eyes and identify where or when in your life you've displayed each quality. What behaviors and actions would bring theses qualities more fully into your life?
  2. Identify the qualities in your partner that initially attracted you. Think about what you fell in love with or what you are still yearning for. Even if you're angry, it's important to uncover the qualities in your partner that you love or admire.
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