Surviving Valentine's Day Single

A Singles Valentine's Day Survival Guide
by Robin Gorman Newman

With Valentine's Day approaching and the card, gift and flower shops draped in rosy regalia, life for singles is not always joyous. Instead of romantic cheer, many get depressed over the prospect of a dateless February 14.

Let me say, however, that Valentine's Day can be fun if you know how to approach it in a constructive, rather than destructive, manner. It can be a time for a little self-pampering and spending time with good friends and family. It can also be an opportunity for socializing and meeting people who yearn for a good relationship as you do.

If you'd like to be the host of your own social, you might consider throwing a "new blood party." It's not about Dracula or vampires; what you do is plan a party with friends, and you each bring a member of the opposite sex whom you are not dating. It's essentially a social networking party but gives everyone a chance to meet new people in an easy, comfortable way.

Now that we're in the new year, this can also be a great time to pursue volunteer work. And there is no better way to meet a "mensch," a decent, responsible person with a big heart, than through benevolence. Join a committee, work at a soup kitchen, help underprivileged kids or even go to a fund-raiser. You'll feel good about yourself because you're doing good, and it might be socially productive.

If you can't take the cold weather, considering leaving town and sign up for a singles trip. You can escape for a spa or ski weekend, or you might consider a Club Med trip.

Since the new year is often a time of resolution, you might consider taking a class, whether to further your career or pursue a leisure interest. It is never too late to learn a skill, and taking a course can be both mentally and socially stimulating. Continuity is key when you're trying to meet someone, and in a classroom setting you see the same faces more than once and get a chance to make new friends.

This can also be a time of self-exploration and growth, with the objective of breaking old socializing patterns and trying new things. Taking social risks can be enlightening, challenging, and gratifying and lets you put your flirting skills to the test. Even if you just smile at a stranger walking down the street, you will probably get a smile back, and something as simple as that can warm your heart even in the dead of winter.

About the author: Robin Gorman Newman is the author of How to Meet a Mensch in New York, is the founder of Mensch Finders and works as a love coach for singles. She can be reached at (516) 773-0911 or

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