Taking It All In: Oral Sex Solutions

Dear Dr. Patti:

My boyfriend has shown an interest in me swallowing during oral sex. I tried once in college with another partner and have never been sure what to do. Is there a way to do this that will be pleasurable to him and me? How do I go about it?

--S

Question:

Dear S:

This issue plagues many women. Often women complain about their male partners pressuring them into swallowing. Why do men do that? Perhaps it's the sense of submission to his demands that a man feels when a woman succumbs to him in this manner. Another reason men love this act is the intimacy that it connotes, and if you and your honey like to explore levels of closeness this is one avenue for that pursuit. It IS an act of giving (and literally taking in) for a lover to consume the ejaculate.

Although oral sex performed on men is popular (and has become increasingly accepted over time as a "normal" behavior), a 1994 University of Chicago survey revealed that while 83 percent of men found fellatio (mouth on penis) appealing, only 57 percent of women enjoyed it.

While you seem comfortable with the act of oral sex, you're not alone in disliking the finale. Research indicates that many women do not enjoy it. One of the reasons for this is the risk of contracting a sexually transmissible disease -- such as HIV, the virus that causes AIDS -- orally. And swallowing a man's semen can put your health in harm's way. That's not something I would ever recommend. But if you and your partner are a steady, truly monogamous and disease-free couple, then swallowing his semen is probably medically safe. If not, then you must face those issues.

If you are interested in finding out how to be a good oral lover, there are many good videos out there. One I endorse in particular is The Complete Guide to Oral Lovemaking, which is available on my site at www.yoursexcoach.com and is geared toward improving skills while enjoying the lessons. Though books on the topic are scant, some do exist. Check out sites such as http://www.goodvibes.com or even Amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com) for books on sex practices. The ancient Kama Sutra is a good guide for lovemaking to this day. Visit Dr. Patti's website at www.yoursexcoach.com for more advice.

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