With the release of Taylor Armstrong's new book, Hiding From Reality: My Story of Love, Loss and Finding the Courage Within, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star is looking for a new start. Ever since her husband Russell Armstrong committed suicide in August, she's been on a journey of healing to come to terms with what his death and the abuse he inflicted on her mean to her and her family.
"I love him to this day and miss him terribly," she said in an interview with the Today show Monday morning. "The good times were the best I've ever had, and the worst times were the worst I've ever had." (Watch the interview below.)
Taylor even admitted to Today that her abusive relationship with Russell was a big motivating factor in her decision to sign on for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. "I thought the cameras would provide some protection," she explained.
Now that her husband is gone, however, Taylor and her 5-year-old daughter Kennedy are facing new challenges. The 40-year-old reality star discusses these in the prologue to her new book, which hits stores today.
"Disturbingly, I had found something comforting about having someone tell me who to talk to, how to behave, what to wear, and what to do," she writes. "Now there was no one controlling the outcomes, or anything else in my life, and I found that making my own decisions was a burden I wasn't prepared for. Then, in the depths of my despair, I discovered a strength I wasn't aware I had."
Armstrong made similar comments to iVillage when we spoke to her in December.
"The book is, just like New Year's Eve, a new beginning for me. I'm really looking forward in my life right now, but I think it's important for people to understand the back story," she said at the time. "That's the point of the book: to try and help other people, not to get involved in something that might be dangerous for them or unhealthy in any way."
