Teachers Spill Amazing Real-Life Funny Stories on Reddit

Kids really do say the funniest things...

Every parent knows that moment: when your kid says something so outrageous, so absurb, so naughty that you have to turn around so they don't see you laughing.

Now, imagine if you were a teacher? Trying to control your laughter every year as kids said and did the silliest, most outrageous things? On an anonymous Reddit thread, teachers have been sharing stories. We've collected our favorites just for you. We dare you not to laugh.

The Mouths of Babes

Last year, [on] my classroom carpet that had the alphabet border around the edges. One of my students, Demetrius, liked to sit on the letter D because it was the first letter of his name. One day, Zaria sits on the letter D. Demetrius gets in her face and yells, 'Zaria! Get off my D!' I lost it.
--ahhzombies  

High School Classic

When reading "Hamlet" with the class, after Ophelia's line about Hamlet, "To speak of horrors -- he comes before me," a kid said, "Hamlet, get it together, man." I cracked up. The other kids didn't get it luckily.
--springplum

The Force is Strong

A student walking down the hallway had his Darth Vader mask confiscated by the principal. The kid replied the right way. He dropped to his knees and did the most perfect Vader 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!' The principal looked at me as the hall burst into laughter.
--SenorWeird

I'm a Big Boy Now

I work in preschool. Kids come out of the bathroom with their pants down all the time, if they can't do the zipper or whatever, but one time a particular boy came running as fast as his pants-around-the-ankles self could possibly run, and screamed "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!" And proceeded to pee on the floor. We think he had just then figured out how to pee standing up...
--sillyribbit

A Good Excuse

(student waiting late after rehearsal) Kid calls home: "Hey can you tell mom to pick me up? Oh, she's in the shower....what about dad? He's in the shower too....?" Turns to teacher: "It's going to be awhile Mr. M"
--nerdsarepeople

Tanya Edwards is a contributing writer for iVillage. Follow her on Twitter and Google+.

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