Thanksgiving TV for the Whole Family (Bustier-Clad Beyonc Ain't an Option)

Here comes Thanksgiving -- and my entire, extended family gathered under one roof. Like most Americans, we'll eat our feast, swap gossip (mostly about celebrities), play some games, and eventually end up in the living room, in front of the TV. And that's when the compromising begins. There are three generations of us -- spanning eight decades. What TV show could possibly entertain our whole brood? Let's explore the options at 9 PM ET:

On ABC, there's a "concert event" with Beyoncé, backed by her "Suga Mama" ensemble. That could be good. Beyonce's great! She just won Best R&B/Soul Female Artist at the 2009 American Music Awards.

On the other hand, I've seen the show's promo spot. Her wardrobe consists of three items: black bustier (with a neckline plunging past her belly button), black gloves to her elbows, and heels. (This shouldn't come as a surprise: Her tour's costume designer is Thierry Mugler, a guy known for extreme, "fetish-look" outfits.) Her song list includes her hit, "Get Me Bodied." The lyrics? "We can dance all night/Get me bodied/That means come closer to me/While we grind to the beat/And your body's touching my body." Her dance moves mimic the lyrics. Hmmm. Do I want to watch this along with grandma? I wonder what's on over at CBS?

Oh, look! It's CSI. Hey! That could work. It's not exactly family programming, but it's not too racy. And who doesn't like Laurence Fishburne? Oh, but wait. It's a repeat. Nevermind.

At that time, FOX is showing the second half of Night At The Museum. It's clean, so I won't have to wince my way through it. But with all that tryptophan coursing through us, we'll need something a little more exciting to keep us awake.

And over at NBC? Matt Lauer is hosting NBC's People of the Year, described as "a look at the most fascinating, inspirational, heroic and notorious figures, and most-talked about stories of 2009." Right on. NBC might rank last among the major networks, but at least they know how to program their Thanksgiving night. The show will feature lots of controversial and/or scandal-plagued celebrities, like Taylor Swift, Nadya Suleman, Susan Boyle, and Kobe Bryant. Unless something unexpected happens (I hear Susan Boyle's a bit of a live wire…) the show should interesting and innocuous.

I would have liked to see Beyoncé. But not if I have to explain what "Bootylicious" means to my grandma.

What will you watch with your family on Thanksgiving? Chime in below!

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