10 Things You Should Absolutely NOT Do In Public

If only people could be held responsible for these crimes

There are some things that just need to be done in the privacy of your home. It's not even that these are all things you shouldn't do in general, they're just things we really don't want to watch.

So without further ado, a list of all the things you should NOT do in public. Consider this your warning.


1. Clip your finger and/or toenails

It's gross, it's personal and it doesn't need to happen in public. And if it's your toe nails that you're clipping, why exactly are your shoes off? I have enough to think about on the subway without worrying about calcified chunks of stranger flying into my vicinity. 


2. Sing along to your headphones

Music is great. I'm glad you're enjoying it in the privacy of your headphones, but if you start singing along with Avril Lavigne, you're not going to get discovered, you're just going to get death glares from everyone else in the Starbucks line. Keep it in your head, SK8R BOI.


3. Pick your nose

This is something you shouldn't do in private either, tissues are like 1,000 for a dollar (don't price check that), so there's no reason to pretend your index finger is a surgical tool best suited for boogie removal. Blow it. (And please discard immediately.)


4. Eat a large meal on public transportation

It's understandable if you're a very busy person with a long commute and it makes sense for you to eat a little something on the way to/from work. All we're asking is that you please consider what kind of food you're bringing into a small, tightly-packed compartment full of other humans. Granola bar? Fruit? Cup of yogurt? Sure. Fine. Pungent burrito? Reheated thai? Crab cakes? SAVE IT FOR LATER.


5. Talk on the phone while checking out at a grocery store

It's rude to the cashier, it's rude to the bagboy, and it's rude to the people behind you. Paper or plastic? Do you want cash back? Would you like a receipt? These are questions that need answering and it is bad manners to ignore them because you can't put away your cell for five minutes.


6. Floss

It doesn't matter what kind of situation you are in, no one wants to see the ancient food stuffs stuck in your gums. Take it to the bathroom at least, because if one more popcorn kernel comes flying out from that treasure trove of a mouth, everyone in this office is going to be sick.  



7. PDA 

Public Displays of Affection are yucky and yes, we're talking to you. It's great that you have someone you love, we're really happy you found each other, but treating the general public to a display of how far the human tongue can reach down a throat is not a spectacle worthy of selling tickets. Additionally, PDA doesn't just apply to physical displays. "I wuv you boopsy woopsy snookums" is just as worthy of disdain as a good public snogging. 


8. Spit

Are people still doing this? Spitting is unsanitary, people. It makes us wonder who raised you, and that's not fair to your parents as it's probably not their fault you never learned to keep saliva inside of your body. If you're a chronic spitter, give it up, you're not going to gain anything from it.


9. Make a scene

Maybe he is a total jerk, and maybe he deserves to be alone for the rest of his life, but subjecting the rest of us to your relationship imploding on itself like a dying star is SO UNCOMFORTABLE. People on the street can hear you. Just LEAVE him already, don't lecture us all about the intricate details of his wrongdoings. (Unless they're really interesting, in which case, we're listening.)



10. Pick your scabs

...seriously? C'mon now.

Drew DiSabatino is a viral writer for iVillage. Follow him on Twitter and Google+.

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